First Time Pilates

Before starting, I want you to know this is about to get so real, you will hear just about every embarrassing moment of this experience.

So first off, I totally misjudged the time it would take me to get there and get in, so when I get there, everyone's already doing their thing. So I sneak in, grab a mat and try to look like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

Now when I think of Pilates, I think of cute plump old ladies, and cute, hip, skinny girls that drink Lattés on a regular basis. I am neither of these things, I don't even like Lattés! So there's 3 middle-aged ladies, a couple cute hip girls (who showed off the whole time), 2 guys, and a sweet-looking old lady.

So, um, like, what were guys doing in Pilates? I mean, seriously? Can't a girl make embarrassing Pilates mistakes without having the opposite sex in the same room?

I shake off these discouraging thoughts and try to listen to the instructor, only problem is I can't hear her, there's a fan going at the side of the room and the speak above me is playing music that has never been so loud (luckily, it was mostly good music) it's like she's mumbling, I know she's not, but that's what I hear.

And guys? Pilates is HARD! I was grunting louder than the middle-aged lady who was next to me! And she was more out of shape than I was! It was so hard, and it was so frustrating getting every move wrong, it made me angry, so angry I was actually motivated to go workout. I swear I nearly walked out of there. Several times.

So, anyway, I'm letting the anger fuel my motivation to get through, when we do a downward dog, and I notice, oh no. My shirt is too short and too loose, every time I put my body parallel to the ground you get to see all my rolls. Now, this wouldn't be a problem, but there are mirrors all around the room. Oh great, what else can people see?! I stop what I doing immediately and drop to my knees, and my fashion sense winces in pain as I tuck my shirt into my leggings. It still hurts my heart talking about this now.

I spend the rest of the time trying to not groan too loudly, whilst trying to hear the girl up front, and not die from humiliation of having a shirt tucked into leggings.

All and all, I'm just not sure I like being in that much pain without hitting or kicking something... though I might try it a time or 2 more just to be sure. I don't give up that quickly, after all.

CG

Nanny Life, Mr. Toddler

Today is the first time in weeks Toddler has let me sing him to sleep, he's so cute and peaceful now, with every blanket he owns on top of him,  I swear it's not that cold in the house, but he insisted. He's so great, he's so laid back but at the same time he must have everything just so or else it's ruined, he wants the things he cares about to be perfect, and to me, that's beautiful. Haha though aggravating at times.

I love it when he laughs, he has the best laugh! I love when he's trying to get your attention or convince you of something, he gets really close to your face, as if that makes what he's saying right.

 I love how he thinks his broom is actually a guitar that he uses like a drum.

I love how when he's being silly, he'll squint his eyes and scrunch up his nose when he's talking to you.

I love how much he loves his little sister. He thinks she's like the most perfect thing in the world, and he always wants everything to be perfect for her, even if he doesn't always like to share. I hope and pray that they are always as devoted and loving to each other as they are now.

I love how much he loves to wrestle  and play.

I love how after his naps, he kind of melts into your arms like butter.

I love that he loves learning and is so curious about everything, so many questions and sometimes not enough answers. I love all the things he's learning, songs and letters, numbers and counting.

 This boy is growing up and it's great and beautiful and oh so bittersweet.

I pray that he grows into a strong and courageous man, fiercely loving God and his family. I pray he seeks after God with everything he has in him. I pray that he be known for lifting others up with his words and his actions, may he be purposeful in his life, and may he be blessed in every way. Because he's amazing and no one knows it better than our great God.

CG

Tired, Happy and Blessed

9-15-15

My days are starting to run together, I'm so tired and I can't seem to remember anything. This last Sunday, I laid on the floor and fell asleep within minutes, I have never fallen asleep on the floor before. That's how tired I am.

But I'm so happy. Everything is starting to feel like home, the town, the house, my job. I don't know what happened, but, one day I was looking down the hallway and I just felt a sense of endearment for that hallway, as if I would miss it if it weren't there, and as I looked around the house I just felt so happy, so glad to be here. I am in a truly beautiful place with beautiful people. I am truly blessed.

I do miss my family I left behind, I keep thinking of things I want tell my Dad, from Prayer Time to jokes no one would get but him, and I find myself watching and listening to videos I made of my niece over and over again just to hear her voice or see her face. But life moves on, and everyday it gets a little easier, after all, who can stand to be sad when you have all the amazing opportunities I do?

Life is so good. God is so good.

But it's late and like I said, I'm tired so TTFN.

CG

Me and The Silly Person

(Last week's post)

I recently moved to a new state and started nannying for my brother and sister-in-law. And for some crazy reason, I thought this would be one of the easiest things I had done. This is far from true, matter a fact, I would say the opposite was true. This is the hardest thing I've ever done.

This is the first time I ever moved without my family, my parents, by my side. This is the first time I have to choose a church by myself, the first time I have no one giving me an opinion on where things should go, or how I should do things, or how I should get involved, I have to motivate myself now. I am adulting on my own now. It's terrifying, and awesome, and awful all in one.

And yesterday, I realised something that has made this all the more painful, you see, I realised I had become silly.

Now to those who know me even the least bit, this sounds ridiculous, of course I'm silly, I'm like the queen of silly and I know it. I own it, really.

But this is a very different kind of silly, I became the silly person who forgets what they know about themselves, who forgets who God is, and only believes what they think they know everything about, their feelings, and the world. I became that silly person who was waiting to be told by some other human being, who is probably just as hurt and broken as I am, what I am worth.

I became a silly person I didn't even recognise, the things I said and did I was shocked and horrified by, but the kicker, the thing that finally made me realise what I had become, was when I finally opened my Bible and turned to God, the things I had underlined I just barely remembered, it didn't feel like my handwriting, it didn't feel like my Bible.

Just like that, I had let the most amazing, most passion filled thing in my life slip away. And I was left with a question, how do you even begin to get that back?

My best guess is prayer, God's Word, and fellowship. And once I integrate the first 2 in my life, I figure the 3rd will just come naturally.

I can't wait to see what God has in store for me on this journey.

So until next time.

CG

Nanny Life, What is Nap Time?

When was the last time these kids had a nap? Yesterday? The day before that? Last week? I honestly don't remember, all I know is no one is sleeping, not even close! Baby is playing quietly next to me, and Toddler is throwing toys over his gate in the next room. Depending on the day, nap time can be my favourite time ever, or my worst nightmare.

I am constantly amazed by that I basically have my dream job and am yet stressed out the majority of the time, why is that I wonder?

Anyway, back to nap time, I think that if I could get the kids to go to sleep at the same time, for the same amount of time, for a whole week, I would write it on my callander and celebrate every year like the Hebrews and the Passover, wait, isn't that for a whole month? I don't remember. Is it sacrilegious to be comparing nap time to the Passover? Probably.

But really, nap time is very, very important.

Okay, choosing to count blessings here, no one is screaming, or crying. God is good. Like, really. If I wasn't helping Baby sit up, I'd probably do a happy dance for joy.

And really, this has gotta be one of the best jobs ever. I mean, seriously, I haven't showered in days (which might not actually be something to be proclaiming to the world, but hey! At least I have a job where that doesn't matter.) I never have to put on presentable clothes, and yesterday, me and Toddler literally cuddled on the couch and read books. All. Day. You can't beat that!

... Wait, is it quiet, or is it just me?

Yep, right on schedule, toddler fell asleep right when he was supposed to be getting up. 'Sigh' what can you do?

Haha Baby is all smiles 'happy face' she keeps looking at the window and smiling these huge smiles. Haha

Anywho, back to life.

TTFN,

CG