The Makeup Challenge

My friend and I decided to challenge each not to wear makeup for 2 weeks, as a way to remind ourselves of our own beauty. If one chose not to follow the challenge, they would have to run a full mile. I hardly wear makeup, so I obviously thought it was going to be a piece of cake.

It wasn't, but not for the reason you would think, I didn't feel ugly or stupid (though it might have been nice to cover up that huge zit that popped up day 2). It was hard because when I made a mistake in other parts of my life, I wanted a way to hide and get my confidence back, or when I met new people, I wanted a way to cover up what I was really feeling and be my usual happy and upbeat self.

You see, I felt ashamed of myself for making mistakes, I always want to be perfectly perfect in every way, all the time, everyday, and when I can't, I'm embarrassed.

 And feeling shy and sad is not me (ask anyone of my friends) not being happy, outgoing me just does not feel okay. But you see, I couldn't hide any of that, it felt like it was just out there, for all the world to see, and that's humbling. And I don't really like things that are humbling, who does?

So what have I learned from this?

First, I relearned a painful lesson that I can't just run away, hide or cover up things when they're painful, I have to turn and face them or they will always have the better of me.

Second, it's okay to make mistakes, and it's okay to feel, even when it's unpleasant feelings like sadness (Inside Out anyone?) because I'm human and sadly all humans make mistakes and all humans feel sad sometimes, and those feelings and experiences are what shape us to be our great, beautiful, and amazing selves.

So guess I did learn to see myself as more beautiful, learn to accept myself a little more, just not at all in the way I'd planned. Never the less, I've never been so excited to wear makeup. Ever!

CG